▲ Step two is complete for I have found myself a decent paying job. After I start my training on this coming Monday I'll be unavailable. The next step is to purchase my own car and insurance so I'll be working my happy ass off.

School starts on the 19th and it will be even harder to acquire time to play on DArt, Myspace, Facebook, 4Chan, etc so I just won't be dealing with any of it. I might pop in every once in a while to check on everything but please, if you message me, please understand I will not have the time to get back to you.

I love you guys dearly and trust me, I am not that person to just forget about you. If you haven't already heard the news, I will be moving to Houston by July. The original plan was April but I want to graduate from Howard in May before we leave and the next quarter starts in July. I am just praying I don't get so caught up in work again and fuck myself over.

Feel free to leave me love if you want too. Like I said, I will be checking in every once in a blue moon so it would be nice to see a nice message when I do. I love all of you and will miss you sooooooo much! I'm not sure when I'll be stable enough to get on here regularly so I can't tell you when I'll be back.

Until then, thanks for the support everybody.

♥♥♥ I love you all ♥♥♥

▲Lyssa▲

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:

- See the Ocean
- Get a tattoo
- See everyone at lest once again


Three Names You Go By:

- Lyssa
- Abyss (Victor's family's nickname)
- Alyss (grandparents)


Three Screen Names You Have Had:

- abysscentipede (go figure )
- truesoulkyoko (Ah, the good 'ol days)
- brokentrust24 (yeah, I was a emo kid, so wut :< )


Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:

- Mah boobs (they hold things)
- Mah eyes
- Mah new hair cut


Three Parts Of Your Heritage:

- German (I make your beer)
- Polish (and bring it to you)
- French (Je suis poisoin?)


Three Things That Scare You:

- El Chupacabra stories (You STFU right now)
- My siblings getting kidnapped (I couldn't bare it...)
- Losing anymore of my friends or loved ones


Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:

- Shower (Only for the people around me You're very welcome)
- Some kind of food (I liek chocolate milk!)
- Entertainment (Games, my sister telling my dad how she heard Santa cursing, or maybe just a couple of rednecks talking about decorating their truck with Christmas lights, you can't go wrong.)


Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:

- Mah new LittleBigPlanet shirt
- Blue jeans (Been wearing them for a couple of days now, yep)
- Sox


Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:

- Of course Nine Inch Nails (Still love Trent, even though he's engaged to a fucking moron)
- VAST (I reeeeeeeaaaaally hope Jon Crosby doesn't have aids... )
- Son Of Rust (I don't know why he isn't big. This band is great!)


Three Of Your Favorite Songs:

- "Highest Cost" by Son Of Rust
- "Swingset Chain" by Loquat
- "I'm Afraid" by Celldwerller


Three Things You Want In A Relationship:

- Acceptance for who I am and what I like
- A best friend
- To be cool with my friends
(Pretty much Victor)


Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:

- I LOVE shoulders (Yes I do )
- Goatees (Yum.)
- Big dudes (I don't like scrawny, ripped dudes...)


Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:

- Drawing ( As if you couldn't tell)
- Going out to play (Outside preferably)
- Gaming (That's why I'm fat C: )


Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:

- Paint
- Call Sarah (I miss her! Fucking phone is disconnected!)
- Go out to the E.Q. again with Steven, Andrew, and V ("Fire and a view" says Steven)


Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:

- Art Teacher (dealing with kids sounds sooooo appealing, NOT)
- Embalmer (Seriously considered it)
- Something in gaming (I want to help create something that turns people into veggies!)



Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:

- Japan (Who doesn't?)
- Germany (Amsterdam baby!)
- One of our coast (To enjoy a beautiful blue sea, maybe even a nude beach)


Three Kid's Names You Like:

- Desmond
- Jennetta
- Amber


Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:

- I have a dirty mouth (Clean it up with Orbit!)
- I LOVE bugs (HAH Kitteh! You're a pussy!)
- I love to play outdoors (Like hiking, muding, swimming, camping, ect.)


Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:

- I pay attention to how you say things more then what you say
- I love pretty things
- I'm a bitch


ummmm.......THE END

The other week me and Kitty went to Howard to register and walked out with a schedule for my classes.

I was expecting to walk out with a sore heart and nothing in my hands but I was surprised at how easy it was to get in.

I know its a junior college and everything but it was too easy. So I'm now enrolled as a full time student, trying to get all my basics done even if they don't count for anything in Huston. At least I'll be in school, getting back into the rhythm.

I filled out my FAFSA the other night thinking I was going to get kicked in the ass but it was also a piece of cake. Not a single problem. I got an email about my SAR and had to go pic up some papers from Howard for the FAFSA. I was ready for the lady to spit out a bunch of gibberish telling me how I fucked up and how I need to do this 50 page packet on my parents income and shit but I walked out with 3 papers and a perfectly clear understanding of what I was to do with them.

So far, everything is fine. I'm pretty sure that when these papers are returned I'm in for the shit storm that I've been dreading this entire time.

Or maybe I'm paranoid....

Now time to get a flippin job! Fucking San Angelo. NO ONE is hiring but I'm still trying.

Christmas is coming up and I'm pretty happy right now

We put up the tree and decorations around the house. I never realized how much cats love Christmas stuff. I mean they get a whole new tree indoors to climb up and knock all the little shinny balls to the ground so they can run around with them. The lights are such a plus with Dolly. She decided she was going to be a Christmas tree and sat on top of the lights while we were testing them. It was funny to see her fur to light up in different colors while she was sitting there with a "wut?" face.

Oh yeah! I got my hair cut :3 I liek it. I liek it a lot.

Pics will be up soon! I love you guys sooooooooo much!


Till next time

Sorry guys, I'm on bit of a rage rampage lately. Bare with me.

Why is it that right when I put everything behind me and all is forgotten, a tiny piece of the shit form the past lands on my shoulder and just blows me back to square one.

Yeah I'm not going to lie just to look good and say everything is fine and dandy because its not. I'm still confused, angry, and hurt. I do get to points when it is in the past and I can move on but somehow things keep popping up and slamming me in my face with new details and new bull shit.

It was such a big aspect of my life and maybe you didn't realize that but it wasn't because I depended on you. Shit I did everything I could to stay out of your way unless it was an emergency. I learned the hard way that even then, it wasn't acceptable to ask for a favor. I tried to pay you back for everything that you had done for me before. It wasn't much but I tried. I loved you guys so much. That was my fault.

I made you my life, I trusted you with every aspect on my being. I aimed to make you happy if you had a shitty day. I did it so you felt better and I got to see you happy.

I wanted nothing less for my best friends.

But somehow everything became tangled up for me and it became numb for you. That is okay. You're happier now. You're better now. Shit is perfect for you now. You don't feel like you're needed constantly. You have all the time in the world for yourself.

Thats okay. I just want you to know that while you were still my friend, it was fucking awesome. Yeah, we were children back and I know you are embarrassed by it but that time in my life was amazing. I'm happy to say you guys made my past worth remembering. Worth missing.

In this journal I am only being selfish. I just needed to get a small piece of word off my chest so I can breathe once more.

By this time next year I will be gone. The plan is to move to Huston by next October. I know I had told some of you we would be going to Dallas but V and Kitty have family who live in Huston.

I'll give you guys for info on that when I get the chance. As for now thanks for the ear. Blogging helps me out tremendously.

This is such bullshit.

I've turned in so many fucking applications and have called back trying to get interveiws but nothing is working. Everyone is already overstaffed or business is slow or they aren't hiring. Blah blah blah.

I went to Game Stop and put an application in there because I knew a few people who worked there. One was this guy who had worked there for over 2 years. Now I don't usually put names in the "people you know who work here" section because you never know where they stand with the management.

Well for this one time I did.

A week latter, the dude gets busted for stealing from Game Stop! Just my fucking luck. And on top of that, they got rid of their shitty bitch manager and got this really sweet one.

Oh well. My options now are Walmart, Taco bell, and all the other want-to-just-fucking-end it fast food chain restaurants.

They're always looking for new meat. For their staff and their food.